{"id":5349,"date":"2026-04-13T20:56:25","date_gmt":"2026-04-13T20:56:25","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/bilgitarif.com\/yeni\/?p=5349"},"modified":"2026-04-13T20:56:25","modified_gmt":"2026-04-13T20:56:25","slug":"kocamin-gizli-dairesindeki","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/bilgitarif.com\/yeni\/kocamin-gizli-dairesindeki\/","title":{"rendered":"Kocam\u0131n Gizli Dairesindeki"},"content":{"rendered":"\n\t\t<style>\n\t\t\t#gallery-1 {\n\t\t\t\tmargin: auto;\n\t\t\t}\n\t\t\t#gallery-1 .gallery-item {\n\t\t\t\tfloat: left;\n\t\t\t\tmargin-top: 10px;\n\t\t\t\ttext-align: center;\n\t\t\t\twidth: 33%;\n\t\t\t}\n\t\t\t#gallery-1 img {\n\t\t\t\tborder: 2px solid #cfcfcf;\n\t\t\t}\n\t\t\t#gallery-1 .gallery-caption {\n\t\t\t\tmargin-left: 0;\n\t\t\t}\n\t\t\t\/* see gallery_shortcode() in wp-includes\/media.php *\/\n\t\t<\/style>\n\t\t<div id='gallery-1' class='gallery galleryid-5349 gallery-columns-3 gallery-size-thumbnail'><dl class='gallery-item'>\n\t\t\t<dt class='gallery-icon landscape'>\n\t\t\t\t<a href='https:\/\/bilgitarif.com\/yeni\/kocamin-gizli-dairesindeki\/vr-32\/'><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"150\" height=\"150\" src=\"https:\/\/bilgitarif.com\/yeni\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/vr-2-150x150.jpg\" class=\"attachment-thumbnail size-thumbnail\" alt=\"\" aria-describedby=\"gallery-1-5350\" \/><\/a>\n\t\t\t<\/dt>\n\t\t\t\t<dd class='wp-caption-text gallery-caption' id='gallery-1-5350'>\n\t\t\t\tAnkara&#8217;n\u0131n kuru so\u011fu\u011fu camlar\u0131 titretirken, Hacettepe&#8217;deki k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck salonumuzda soban\u0131n \u00e7\u0131t\u0131rt\u0131s\u0131n\u0131 dinliyordum. \u00dczerimde Kemal&#8217;in \u00e7ok sevdi\u011fi o eski, y\u00fcn \u015fal\u0131m vard\u0131. Kar\u015f\u0131mdaki koltuk aylard\u0131r bo\u015ftu. Kemal&#8217;imi, hayat arkada\u015f\u0131m\u0131, o g\u00fcle\u00e7 y\u00fczl\u00fc adam\u0131 yaprak d\u00f6k\u00fcm\u00fc zaman\u0131, h\u00fcz\u00fcnl\u00fc bir sonbahar g\u00fcn\u00fc kaybetmi\u015ftim. Ve bug\u00fcn 14 \u015eubat&#8217;t\u0131&#8230; Onsuz ge\u00e7en ilk Sevgililer G\u00fcn\u00fc. \u0130\u00e7imde koca bir bo\u015fluk, bo\u011faz\u0131mda yutkunamad\u0131\u011f\u0131m bir yumru vard\u0131. Kemal&#8217;le a\u015fk\u0131m\u0131z 1962&#8217;nin o \u00e7etin k\u0131\u015f\u0131nda, Gen\u00e7lik Park\u0131&#8217;n\u0131n karlar alt\u0131ndaki a\u011fa\u00e7lar\u0131 aras\u0131nda ba\u015flam\u0131\u015ft\u0131. \u0130kimiz de M\u00fclkiye&#8217;de \u00f6\u011frenciydik. 14 \u015eubat g\u00fcn\u00fc beni parktaki o k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck \u00e7ay bah\u00e7esine g\u00f6t\u00fcrm\u00fc\u015f, paltosunun i\u00e7inden elleri titreye titreye bir demet karanfil ve o zarif g\u00fcm\u00fc\u015f y\u00fcz\u00fc\u011f\u00fc \u00e7\u0131karm\u0131\u015ft\u0131. &#8216;Benimle ya\u015flanmaya var m\u0131s\u0131n Necla?&#8217; diye sordu\u011funda g\u00f6zlerindeki o parlakl\u0131\u011f\u0131 \u00f6mr\u00fcmce unutmad\u0131m. Ger\u00e7ekten de birlikte ya\u015fland\u0131k. 63 y\u0131l dile kolay&#8230; Memuriyet hayat\u0131 boyunca her Sevgililer G\u00fcn\u00fc&#8217;nde kap\u0131dan elinde \u00e7i\u00e7eklerle girdi. Bazen K\u0131z\u0131lay Meydan\u0131&#8217;ndan ald\u0131\u011f\u0131 k\u0131rm\u0131z\u0131 laleler, bazen mahalledeki \u00e7i\u00e7ek\u00e7iden kopard\u0131\u011f\u0131 nergisler. Hastayken bile o g\u00fcn\u00fc asla unutmad\u0131, \u00e7i\u00e7ekler her zaman o masan\u0131n \u00fczerinde yerini ald\u0131. Soban\u0131n \u00fczerindeki \u00e7aydanl\u0131\u011f\u0131n sesi d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcncelerimi b\u00f6ld\u00fc. Tam o s\u0131rada d\u0131\u015f kap\u0131dan tok ve sert bir ses geldi. Biri kap\u0131ya vurmu\u015ftu. A\u011f\u0131r ad\u0131mlarla kalkt\u0131m. Kap\u0131n\u0131n deli\u011finden bakt\u0131m ama kimse g\u00f6r\u00fcnm\u00fcyordu. &#8216;Kimdir o?&#8217; diye seslendim. Sessizlik&#8230; Kap\u0131n\u0131n zincirini yava\u015f\u00e7a indirip aralad\u0131\u011f\u0131mda r\u00fczgar y\u00fcz\u00fcme \u00e7arpt\u0131. Kimse yoktu. Fakat paspas\u0131n \u00fczerinde kan k\u0131rm\u0131z\u0131 g\u00fcllerden olu\u015fan devasa bir buket ve kal\u0131n, kahverengi bir zarf duruyordu. Kalbim g\u00f6\u011f\u00fcs kafesimi delecekmi\u015f gibi atmaya ba\u015flad\u0131. E\u011filip \u00e7i\u00e7e\u011fi ve zarf\u0131 al\u0131rken ellerim tir tir titriyordu. Salona ge\u00e7ip zarf\u0131 a\u00e7t\u0131m. \u0130\u00e7inden pirin\u00e7ten yap\u0131lma, a\u011f\u0131r bir anahtar ve bir mektup \u00e7\u0131kt\u0131. Yaz\u0131 kesinlikle Kemal&#8217;e aitti. &#8216;Necla&#8217;m, can yolda\u015f\u0131m&#8230;&#8217; diye ba\u015fl\u0131yordu. &#8216;E\u011fer bu mektubu okuyorsan, o amans\u0131z hastal\u0131k beni senden ay\u0131rm\u0131\u015f demektir. Sana bu zarfla birlikte bir anahtar b\u0131rak\u0131yorum. 63 y\u0131ll\u0131k evlili\u011fimiz boyunca senden gizledi\u011fim tek bir \u015fey oldu. Y\u0131llarca sana yalan s\u00f6ylemek zorunda kald\u0131\u011f\u0131m i\u00e7in beni affet ama bunu yapmaya mecburdum. Ger\u00e7e\u011fi kendi g\u00f6zlerinle g\u00f6rmelisin. L\u00fctfen ka\u011f\u0131d\u0131n arkas\u0131ndaki adrese git&#8230;&#8217; Kan\u0131m \u00e7ekilmi\u015fti. G\u00f6zlerime inanam\u0131yordum. Kemal? Benim memur emeklisi, d\u00fcr\u00fcstl\u00fck abidesi Kemal&#8217;im benden ne saklam\u0131\u015f olabilirdi? Ba\u015fka bir hayat\u0131 m\u0131 vard\u0131? Gizli bor\u00e7lar m\u0131? Karanl\u0131k i\u015fler mi? NELER OLUYORDU?! Panikle paltomu giydim. Soka\u011fa \u00e7\u0131k\u0131p bir taksi \u00e7evirdim. \u015eof\u00f6re adresi verirken sesim titriyordu. Taksi, Ankara&#8217;n\u0131n karla kapl\u0131 sokaklar\u0131nda ilerlerken camdan d\u0131\u015far\u0131 bo\u015f g\u00f6zlerle bak\u0131yordum. Samanpazar\u0131 civar\u0131nda, eski Ankara evlerinin oldu\u011fu dar bir soka\u011fa girdik. Taksi durdu\u011funda yolculuk bir saat s\u00fcrm\u00fc\u015ft\u00fc sanki. Adresteki eve do\u011fru y\u00fcr\u00fcd\u00fcm. Ah\u015fap panjurlar\u0131 kapal\u0131, iki katl\u0131 yorgun bir evdi. Elimdeki pirin\u00e7 anahtarla kap\u0131n\u0131n \u00f6n\u00fcnde dakikalarca bekledim. \u0130\u00e7eri girmeye cesaret edemiyordum. Sonunda derin bir nefes al\u0131p anahtar\u0131 kilide yerle\u015ftirdim. \u00c7evirdi\u011fimde \u00e7\u0131kan &#8216;t\u0131k&#8217; sesi sessiz soka\u011fa yay\u0131ld\u0131. Kap\u0131y\u0131 aralay\u0131p i\u00e7eri ad\u0131m\u0131m\u0131 att\u0131\u011f\u0131mda, y\u00fcz\u00fcme inan\u0131lmaz derecede keskin bir koku \u00e7arpt\u0131. Tiner, terebentin ve a\u011f\u0131r bir ya\u011fl\u0131 boya kokusu&#8230; Karanl\u0131k hol\u00fc ge\u00e7ip ana odaya girdi\u011fimde g\u00f6rd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcm manzara kar\u015f\u0131s\u0131nda dizlerimin ba\u011f\u0131 \u00e7\u00f6z\u00fcld\u00fc&#8230;\n\t\t\t\t<\/dd><\/dl><dl class='gallery-item'>\n\t\t\t<dt class='gallery-icon portrait'>\n\t\t\t\t<a href='https:\/\/bilgitarif.com\/yeni\/kocamin-gizli-dairesindeki\/klllk\/'><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"150\" height=\"150\" src=\"https:\/\/bilgitarif.com\/yeni\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/klllk-150x150.jpg\" class=\"attachment-thumbnail size-thumbnail\" alt=\"\" aria-describedby=\"gallery-1-5351\" \/><\/a>\n\t\t\t<\/dt>\n\t\t\t\t<dd class='wp-caption-text gallery-caption' id='gallery-1-5351'>\n\t\t\t\t&#8216;AMAN ALLAHIM KEMAL&#8230; SEN NEY\u0130N \u0130\u00c7\u0130NE KARI\u015eTIN B\u00d6YLE?!&#8217; Oda, tavana kadar uzanan y\u00fczlerce, binlerce tuvalle doluydu. Fakat beni as\u0131l \u015foka sokan bu de\u011fildi. Tuvallerin her birinde ben vard\u0131m! 1962&#8217;deki o gencecik, sa\u00e7lar\u0131 \u00f6rg\u00fcl\u00fc Necla&#8230; 1970&#8217;lerde o\u011flumuzu kuca\u011f\u0131ma ald\u0131\u011f\u0131m an&#8230; Sa\u00e7lar\u0131ma ilk aklar\u0131n d\u00fc\u015ft\u00fc\u011f\u00fc ya\u015flar\u0131m, mutfakta \u00e7ay demledi\u011fim anlar\u0131m, soban\u0131n ba\u015f\u0131nda uyuyakald\u0131\u011f\u0131m ak\u015famlar&#8230; Odan\u0131n k\u00f6\u015fesinde eski bir \u015f\u00f6vale duruyordu ve \u00fczerinde yar\u0131m kalm\u0131\u015f son bir tablo vard\u0131. Y\u00fcz\u00fcm\u00fcn k\u0131r\u0131\u015f\u0131kl\u0131klar\u0131n\u0131 o kadar derin, o kadar a\u015fkla resmetmi\u015fti ki&#8230; Tablonun yan\u0131ndaki k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck sehpan\u0131n \u00fczerinde bir not duruyordu. G\u00f6zya\u015flar\u0131m sel olmu\u015fken notu elime ald\u0131m: &#8216;Necla&#8217;m&#8230; Gen\u00e7li\u011fimizde ressam olmak isterdim bilirsin, ama hayat \u015fartlar\u0131 bana o kalemi b\u0131rakt\u0131r\u0131p memur ceketini giydirdi. Senden saklad\u0131\u011f\u0131m s\u0131r buydu. Ben o f\u0131r\u00e7ay\u0131 hi\u00e7 b\u0131rakmad\u0131m. Sadece seni \u00e7izdim. Son y\u0131llarda g\u00f6zlerimdeki o sinsi hastal\u0131k y\u00fcz\u00fcnden g\u00f6rme yetimi yava\u015f yava\u015f kaybediyordum. Sana karanl\u0131\u011fa g\u00f6m\u00fcld\u00fc\u011f\u00fcm\u00fc s\u00f6yleyemedim, ac\u0131man\u0131 istemedim. Onun yerine, haf\u0131zam silinmeden \u00f6nce senin her zerreni bu tuvallere i\u015fledim. Senin y\u00fcz\u00fcn, karanl\u0131\u011f\u0131mda g\u00f6rece\u011fim son \u0131\u015f\u0131k olmal\u0131yd\u0131.&#8217; H\u0131\u00e7k\u0131r\u0131klara bo\u011fuldum. O keskin boya kokusu art\u0131k bana d\u00fcnyan\u0131n en g\u00fczel parf\u00fcm\u00fc gibi geliyordu. Benim d\u00fcr\u00fcst kocam, benden bir ihanet veya su\u00e7 de\u011fil, sadece onun i\u00e7in ne kadar b\u00fcy\u00fck bir sanat eseri oldu\u011fumu saklam\u0131\u015ft\u0131. Tuvallerden birine dokundum, boyas\u0131 kurumu\u015f o g\u00fczel hat\u0131ralar\u0131m\u0131z\u0131n aras\u0131nda, Kemal&#8217;imin sonsuz a\u015fk\u0131yla sarmaland\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131 hissettim.\n\n\n\t\t\t\t<\/dd><\/dl>\n\t\t\t<br style='clear: both' \/>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":5350,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[9],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-5349","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-foto-galeri"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/bilgitarif.com\/yeni\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5349","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/bilgitarif.com\/yeni\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/bilgitarif.com\/yeni\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bilgitarif.com\/yeni\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bilgitarif.com\/yeni\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5349"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/bilgitarif.com\/yeni\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5349\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5352,"href":"https:\/\/bilgitarif.com\/yeni\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5349\/revisions\/5352"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bilgitarif.com\/yeni\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/5350"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/bilgitarif.com\/yeni\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5349"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bilgitarif.com\/yeni\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5349"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bilgitarif.com\/yeni\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5349"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}