{"id":2065,"date":"2025-04-09T20:42:31","date_gmt":"2025-04-09T20:42:31","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/bilgitarif.com\/yeni\/?p=2065"},"modified":"2025-04-09T20:42:31","modified_gmt":"2025-04-09T20:42:31","slug":"cok-yalnizlik-cekiyordu","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/bilgitarif.com\/yeni\/cok-yalnizlik-cekiyordu\/","title":{"rendered":"\u00c7ok yaln\u0131zl\u0131k \u00e7ekiyordu"},"content":{"rendered":"\n\t\t<style type=\"text\/css\">\n\t\t\t#gallery-1 {\n\t\t\t\tmargin: auto;\n\t\t\t}\n\t\t\t#gallery-1 .gallery-item {\n\t\t\t\tfloat: left;\n\t\t\t\tmargin-top: 10px;\n\t\t\t\ttext-align: center;\n\t\t\t\twidth: 33%;\n\t\t\t}\n\t\t\t#gallery-1 img {\n\t\t\t\tborder: 2px solid #cfcfcf;\n\t\t\t}\n\t\t\t#gallery-1 .gallery-caption {\n\t\t\t\tmargin-left: 0;\n\t\t\t}\n\t\t\t\/* see gallery_shortcode() in wp-includes\/media.php *\/\n\t\t<\/style>\n\t\t<div id='gallery-1' class='gallery galleryid-2065 gallery-columns-3 gallery-size-thumbnail'><dl class='gallery-item'>\n\t\t\t<dt class='gallery-icon landscape'>\n\t\t\t\t<a href='https:\/\/bilgitarif.com\/yeni\/cok-yalnizlik-cekiyordu\/ssd\/'><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"150\" height=\"150\" src=\"https:\/\/bilgitarif.com\/yeni\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/04\/ssd-150x150.jpeg\" class=\"attachment-thumbnail size-thumbnail\" alt=\"\" aria-describedby=\"gallery-1-2066\" \/><\/a>\n\t\t\t<\/dt>\n\t\t\t\t<dd class='wp-caption-text gallery-caption' id='gallery-1-2066'>\n\t\t\t\t\u00c7ok yaln\u0131zl\u0131k \u00e7ekiyordum, kimse beni anlam\u0131yordu, g\u00fczel s\u00f6zler duymak sevilmek istiyordum. Sa\u011fl\u0131kl\u0131 bir kad\u0131nd\u0131m benimde isteklerim vard\u0131. Birgun faceden bir dostluk talebi geldi, profilinde asker k\u0131yafeti vard\u0131 \u00e7ok yak\u0131\u015f\u0131kl\u0131yd\u0131 ama benden baya ufak g\u00f6r\u00fcn\u00fcyordu. \u0130ste\u011fi kabul ettim konu\u015fmaya ba\u015flad\u0131k, ihtiyac\u0131m olan herseyi biliyordu sanki \u00c7ok etkilenmi\u015ftim kendime s\u00f6z ge\u00e7iremiyordum, birkacgunde deliler gibi a\u015f\u0131k olmu\u015ftum, bana s\u00f6yledi\u011fi s\u00f6zlerin hicbirisini ilk kocamdan duymam\u0131\u015ft\u0131m, yan\u0131na gelmek istiyorum dedi olmaz dedim ama \u0131srar edince dayanamismim zira \u00e7ok genc ve \u00e7ok yak\u0131\u015f\u0131kl\u0131yd\u0131. Gelece\u011fi g\u00fcn onun istedi\u011fi \u015feyleri giyindim haz\u0131rland\u0131m, gece 2 oldu hala gelmedi diye d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcrken arad\u0131 geldim kap\u0131y\u0131 a\u00e7 dedi, heycandan \u00f6ld\u00fcyordum ellerim titreyerek kap\u0131y\u0131 a\u00e7t\u0131m Direk i\u00e7eri dald\u0131 beni tuttu..\n\n\n\t\t\t\t<\/dd><\/dl><dl class='gallery-item'>\n\t\t\t<dt class='gallery-icon portrait'>\n\t\t\t\t<a href='https:\/\/bilgitarif.com\/yeni\/cok-yalnizlik-cekiyordu\/yalni\/'><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"150\" height=\"150\" src=\"https:\/\/bilgitarif.com\/yeni\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/04\/yalni-150x150.jpg\" class=\"attachment-thumbnail size-thumbnail\" alt=\"\" aria-describedby=\"gallery-1-2067\" \/><\/a>\n\t\t\t<\/dt>\n\t\t\t\t<dd class='wp-caption-text gallery-caption' id='gallery-1-2067'>\n\t\t\t\tDirekt i\u00e7eri dald\u0131, beni tuttu\u2026 Ama bekledi\u011fim gibi de\u011fildi. O gen\u00e7, yak\u0131\u015f\u0131kl\u0131, g\u00f6zleri \u0131\u015f\u0131l \u0131\u015f\u0131l adam yerine, kar\u015f\u0131mdaki adam ya\u015f\u0131n\u0131 alm\u0131\u015f, yorgun, belki de benimle ya\u015f\u0131t biriydi. Sa\u00e7lar\u0131 k\u0131rla\u015fm\u0131\u015f, y\u00fcz\u00fc ekran\u0131n gerisinde g\u00f6rd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcm o p\u00fcr\u00fczs\u00fcz yak\u0131\u015f\u0131kl\u0131 adama hi\u00e7 benzemiyordu. G\u00f6zlerime bakt\u0131, ben ise deh\u015fetle ona bak\u0131yordum.\n\n\u201cNe oldu? Tan\u0131yamad\u0131n m\u0131?\u201d diye s\u0131r\u0131tt\u0131. O s\u0131rada beynim zonklamaya ba\u015flad\u0131. B\u00fct\u00fcn s\u00f6yledikleri, b\u00fct\u00fcn o g\u00fczel c\u00fcmleler, bana yazd\u0131\u011f\u0131 o \u00e7arp\u0131c\u0131 mesajlar\u2026 Hepsi bir oyundu. Ger\u00e7ek sand\u0131\u011f\u0131m o hayal d\u00fcnyas\u0131 yerle bir olmu\u015ftu.\n\nGeri ismim att\u0131m. Kalbim deli gibi \u00e7arp\u0131yordu. \u201cSen\u2026 Sen\u2026 Kimsin?\u201d diyebildim sadece. Sesim titriyordu. O ise kap\u0131y\u0131 olduk\u00e7a kapatm\u0131\u015ft\u0131 bile. G\u00f6zleri \u00fczerimde gezindi.\n\n\u201cBen oyum i\u015fte\u2026 Beni bu t\u00fcr hayal etmemi\u015f miydin?\u201d dedi. Sesi alayc\u0131yd\u0131. Kahkahas\u0131 evin i\u00e7ersinde yank\u0131land\u0131.\n\nKelimeler bo\u011faz\u0131mda d\u00fc\u011f\u00fcmlendi. Telefonum an\u0131nda yan masan\u0131n \u00fczerindeydi ama ona ula\u015fmak amac\u0131yla hareket edersem fark edecekti. Bir \u015feyler s\u00f6ylemeliydim, sakinli\u011fimi korumal\u0131yd\u0131m.\n\n\u201cYanl\u0131\u015f bir \u015feyler var\u2026 Sen bana foto\u011fraf g\u00f6ndermi\u015ftin ama\u2026\u201d dedim, vakit kazanmaya \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131yordum.\n\nOmuz silkti. \u201cSana ne g\u00f6stermek istediysem onu g\u00f6rd\u00fcn. Demek ki g\u00f6rmek istediklerine inanmay\u0131 se\u00e7tin.\u201d\n\nTitriyordum. Bo\u011faz\u0131mdan kuru bir yutkunma sesi \u00e7\u0131kt\u0131. Ka\u00e7mal\u0131yd\u0131m ama nas\u0131l? Bu adam\u0131n hedefi neydi? Benimle namac\u0131yla bu oyunu oynam\u0131\u015ft\u0131?\n\nDerin bir soluk ald\u0131m, korkumu gizlemeye \u00e7al\u0131\u015farak, \u201cGitmelisin.\u201d dedim.\n\nG\u00f6zlerini k\u0131st\u0131, dudaklar\u0131n\u0131 b\u00fczd\u00fc. \u201cO kadar basit m\u0131 san\u0131yorsun? Ben buraya kadar geldim, senin amac\u0131yla.\u201d\n\nO an b\u00fct\u00fcn hatalar\u0131m g\u00f6z\u00fcm\u00fcn \u00f6n\u00fcnden ge\u00e7ti. Birka\u00e7 g\u00fczel s\u00f6z, biraz ilgi\u2026 Ve ben kendimi bir yabanc\u0131n\u0131n evime kadar girmesine izin verirken bulmu\u015ftum. \u0130\u00e7im ba\u015fkald\u0131r\u0131 ediyordu. Ama \u015fimdi kuvvetli olmak zorundayd\u0131m.\n\n\u201cBak, ben senin bekledi\u011fin gibi biri de\u011filim. Sen de benim bekledi\u011fim gibi de\u011filsin. En iyisi bu i\u015fi burada bitirelim.\u201d dedim, sesimi olduk\u00e7a kararl\u0131 \u00e7\u0131karmaya \u00e7al\u0131\u015farak.\n\nBir an d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fc. Sonra ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131 yana e\u011fdi, y\u00fcz\u00fcnde hafif bir g\u00fcl\u00fcmsemeyle, \u201cPeki.\u201d dedi. Ama bu kadar tez pes etmesi beni daha da korkuttu.\n\nArkam\u0131 d\u00f6n\u00fcp telefonu almaya \u00e7al\u0131\u015ft\u0131\u011f\u0131m anda bir el bile\u011fimden yakalad\u0131. T\u00fcylerim diken diken oldu. \u201cBu kadar basit m\u0131 sand\u0131n?\u201d diye f\u0131s\u0131ldad\u0131.\n\nBedenim buz kesti. \u015eimdi ne yapacakt\u0131m?\n\nKa\u00e7mal\u0131 m\u0131yd\u0131m, sava\u015fmal\u0131 m\u0131yd\u0131m?\n\nAma her \u015fey amac\u0131yla \u00e7ok ge\u00e7ti\u2026\n\n\n\t\t\t\t<\/dd><\/dl>\n\t\t\t<br style='clear: both' \/>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":2066,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[9],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2065","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-foto-galeri"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/bilgitarif.com\/yeni\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2065","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/bilgitarif.com\/yeni\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/bilgitarif.com\/yeni\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bilgitarif.com\/yeni\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bilgitarif.com\/yeni\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2065"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/bilgitarif.com\/yeni\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2065\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2068,"href":"https:\/\/bilgitarif.com\/yeni\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2065\/revisions\/2068"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bilgitarif.com\/yeni\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/2066"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/bilgitarif.com\/yeni\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2065"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bilgitarif.com\/yeni\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2065"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bilgitarif.com\/yeni\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2065"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}