{"id":747,"date":"2025-02-15T21:26:27","date_gmt":"2025-02-15T21:26:27","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/bilgitarif.com\/yeni\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/02\/ds-1.jpg"},"modified":"2025-02-15T21:26:29","modified_gmt":"2025-02-15T21:26:29","slug":"ds-2","status":"inherit","type":"attachment","link":"https:\/\/bilgitarif.com\/yeni\/ben-simdi-ne-yapayim\/ds-2\/","title":{"rendered":"ds"},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":[],"class_list":["post-747","attachment","type-attachment","status-inherit","hentry"],"description":{"rendered":"<p class=\"attachment\"><a href='https:\/\/bilgitarif.com\/yeni\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/02\/ds-1.jpg'><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"300\" height=\"160\" src=\"https:\/\/bilgitarif.com\/yeni\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/02\/ds-1-300x160.jpg\" class=\"attachment-medium size-medium\" alt=\"\" srcset=\"https:\/\/bilgitarif.com\/yeni\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/02\/ds-1-300x160.jpg 300w, https:\/\/bilgitarif.com\/yeni\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/02\/ds-1.jpg 750w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n"},"caption":{"rendered":"<p>G\u00f6zlerim bir anda karanl\u0131k bir bulut gibi doldu. Kalbim sanki g\u00f6\u011fs\u00fcmden s\u00f6k\u00fcl\u00fcp yere \u00e7ak\u0131lacakm\u0131\u015f gibi atmaya ba\u015flad\u0131. Kulaklar\u0131ma gelen f\u0131s\u0131lt\u0131lar, k\u0131s\u0131k sesli g\u00fcl\u00fc\u015fmeler midemi buland\u0131rd\u0131. Nefes al\u0131\u015fveri\u015flerim h\u0131zlanm\u0131\u015f, bacaklar\u0131m titremeye ba\u015flam\u0131\u015ft\u0131. Karde\u015fimin kap\u0131s\u0131n\u0131n \u00f6n\u00fcnde durdum, elim kap\u0131 koluna uzanacak gibi oldu ama yapamismim.<\/p>\n<p>Bir an amac\u0131yla hatal\u0131 duydu\u011fumu d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnmek istedim. Belki de zihnim bana bir oyun oynuyordu. Ama sonra o sesleri gene duydu\u011funda ger\u00e7ek, t\u00fcm a\u011f\u0131rl\u0131\u011f\u0131yla \u00fczerime \u00e7\u00f6kt\u00fc. Midemde bir b\u0131\u00e7ak d\u00f6nd\u00fc, nefesim darald\u0131. Bir ismim geri att\u0131m, d\u0131\u015far\u0131 ko\u015fup gitmek istedim ama ayaklar\u0131m yere \u00e7ak\u0131lm\u0131\u015f gibiydi.<\/p>\n<p>Biraz daha bekleyip gene dinledim. Yan\u0131lm\u0131yordum. O an i\u00e7imdeki t\u00fcm hisler karmakar\u0131\u015f\u0131k duruma geldi. \u00d6fke, \u00fcz\u00fcnc, ihanetin o yak\u0131c\u0131 ac\u0131s\u0131\u2026 Bo\u011faz\u0131mda b\u00fcy\u00fck bir d\u00fc\u011f\u00fcm olu\u015ftu, g\u00f6zya\u015flar\u0131m yanaklar\u0131m\u0131 sessiz sedas\u0131z \u00e7iziyordu. Nas\u0131l yapabilirlerdi? Nas\u0131l bana bu t\u00fcrsine bir ac\u0131y\u0131 reva g\u00f6rebilirlerdi?<\/p>\n<p>Elimle kap\u0131ya vurmak istedim, i\u00e7eri dal\u0131p her \u015feyi hayk\u0131rmak\u2026 Ama sonra bir an fikire dald\u0131m. Ne de olsa ink\u00e2r edeceklerdi. Belki de ben paranoya yap\u0131yordum? Ama hay\u0131r, hissetti\u011fim her \u015fey ger\u00e7ekti.<\/p>\n<p>Sessizce odama geri d\u00f6nd\u00fcm. Kendi yata\u011f\u0131ma oturdu\u011fumda ba\u015f\u0131m d\u00f6n\u00fcyordu. O ana kadar evlili\u011fimi m\u00fcbarek bir ba\u011f, bir emniyet esas\u0131 olarak g\u00f6rm\u00fc\u015ft\u00fcm. Onca sene yan\u0131mda olan adam, hayat\u0131m\u0131 payla\u015ft\u0131\u011f\u0131m insan, bana bunu yapm\u0131\u015ft\u0131. Ve i\u015fin en korkun\u00e7 yan\u0131, bunu benim can\u0131m kan\u0131m olan bir insanla yapm\u0131\u015f olmas\u0131yd\u0131.<\/p>\n<p>Telefonumu elime ald\u0131m. Kime ne anlatabilirdim ki? Annemi arasam, olanlara inanmazd\u0131. Arkada\u015flar\u0131m\u0131 arasam, nas\u0131l bu t\u00fcr bir utanc\u0131 anlatabilirdim? Telefonu geri b\u0131rakt\u0131m. Derin nefesler ald\u0131m.<\/p>\n<p>Sabah\u0131 beklemeye karar verdim. O an bir \u015fey yaparsam, d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnmeden hareket edersem, sonras\u0131n\u0131 toparlayamazd\u0131m. Ama sabah\u0131n ilk \u0131\u015f\u0131klar\u0131yla e\u015f g\u00fcd\u00fcml\u00fc ger\u00e7ekleri y\u00fczlerine vuracak, hesap soracakt\u0131m.<\/p>\n"},"alt_text":"","media_type":"image","mime_type":"image\/jpeg","media_details":{"width":750,"height":400,"file":"2025\/02\/ds-1.jpg","filesize":16533,"sizes":{"medium":{"file":"ds-1-300x160.jpg","width":300,"height":160,"filesize":7619,"mime_type":"image\/jpeg","source_url":"https:\/\/bilgitarif.com\/yeni\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/02\/ds-1-300x160.jpg"},"thumbnail":{"file":"ds-1-150x150.jpg","width":150,"height":150,"filesize":3928,"mime_type":"image\/jpeg","source_url":"https:\/\/bilgitarif.com\/yeni\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/02\/ds-1-150x150.jpg"},"full":{"file":"ds-1.jpg","width":750,"height":400,"mime_type":"image\/jpeg","source_url":"https:\/\/bilgitarif.com\/yeni\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/02\/ds-1.jpg"}},"image_meta":{"aperture":"0","credit":"","camera":"","caption":"","created_timestamp":"0","copyright":"","focal_length":"0","iso":"0","shutter_speed":"0","title":"","orientation":"0","keywords":[]}},"post":745,"source_url":"https:\/\/bilgitarif.com\/yeni\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/02\/ds-1.jpg","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/bilgitarif.com\/yeni\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/747","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/bilgitarif.com\/yeni\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/bilgitarif.com\/yeni\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/attachment"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bilgitarif.com\/yeni\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bilgitarif.com\/yeni\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=747"}],"wp:attached-to":[{"embeddable":true,"post_type":"post","id":745,"href":"https:\/\/bilgitarif.com\/yeni\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/745"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}