{"id":5989,"date":"2026-04-28T19:55:51","date_gmt":"2026-04-28T19:55:51","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/bilgitarif.com\/yeni\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/vcs.jpg"},"modified":"2026-04-28T19:56:02","modified_gmt":"2026-04-28T19:56:02","slug":"vcs","status":"inherit","type":"attachment","link":"https:\/\/bilgitarif.com\/yeni\/kocamla-72-yil-evli-kaldik-cenazesinde-birlikte-gorev-yaptigi-adamlardan-biri-elime-kucuk-bir-kutu-tutusturdu-ve-kutuyu-actigim-an-kalbim-durdu\/vcs\/","title":{"rendered":"Kocamla 72 y\u0131l evli kald\u0131k; cenazesinde, birlikte g\u00f6rev yapt\u0131\u011f\u0131 adamlardan biri elime k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck bir kutu tutu\u015fturdu ve kutuyu a\u00e7t\u0131\u011f\u0131m an kalbim durdu."},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":[],"class_list":["post-5989","attachment","type-attachment","status-inherit","hentry"],"description":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n"},"caption":{"rendered":"

Yetmi\u015f iki y\u0131l boyunca kocam\u0131n saklad\u0131\u011f\u0131 her s\u0131rr\u0131 bildi\u011fime inand\u0131m. Ancak cenazesinde, bir yabanc\u0131 ellerime bir kutu tutu\u015fturdu; i\u00e7indeki y\u00fcz\u00fck a\u015fk, verilen s\u00f6zler ve sakl\u0131 tuttu\u011fumuz sessiz fedakarl\u0131klar hakk\u0131nda bildi\u011fim her \u015feyi alt\u00fcst etti.<\/p>\n

Yetmi\u015f iki y\u0131l. Bunu y\u00fcksek sesle s\u00f6yledi\u011finizde, sanki ba\u015fkas\u0131n\u0131n ya\u015fad\u0131\u011f\u0131 bir hik\u00e2yeymi\u015f gibi imk\u00e2ns\u0131z geliyor. Ama bu bizim hik\u00e2yemizdi.<\/p>\n

Ellerim kuca\u011f\u0131mda kenetli, onun tabutuna bakarken hep bunu d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fcm.<\/p>\n

Bir insanla o kadar \u00e7ok do\u011fum g\u00fcn\u00fc, k\u0131\u015f mevsimi ve s\u0131radan Sal\u0131 g\u00fcn\u00fc ge\u00e7iriyorsunuz ki; her i\u00e7 \u00e7eki\u015finin, her ayak sesinin ve her sessizli\u011finin anlam\u0131n\u0131 bildi\u011finize inanmaya ba\u015fl\u0131yorsunuz.<\/p>\n

Bunu y\u00fcksek sesle s\u00f6yleyince kula\u011fa imk\u00e2ns\u0131z geliyor.<\/p>\n

Yavuz’un kahvesini nas\u0131l sevdi\u011fini, her gece arka kap\u0131y\u0131 nas\u0131l iki kez kontrol etti\u011fini ve her Pazar cami ceketini ayn\u0131 sandalyenin \u00fczerine nas\u0131l katlad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 bilirdim. Onun hakk\u0131nda bilinmeye de\u011fer her \u015feyi bildi\u011fimi san\u0131yordum.<\/p>\n

Ama a\u015fk\u0131n, baz\u0131 \u015feyleri \u00e7ok dikkatli bir \u015fekilde bir kenara kald\u0131rma huyu vard\u0131r; bazen o kadar dikkatli saklar ki, onlar\u0131 buldu\u011funuzda art\u0131k \u00e7ok ge\u00e7 olmu\u015ftur.<\/p>\n

Cenaze tam da Yavuz’un isteyece\u011fi gibi k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fckt\u00fc. Birka\u00e7 kom\u015fu k\u0131s\u0131k sesle taziyelerini iletti. K\u0131z\u0131m\u0131z R\u00fcya, kimse fark etmesin diye g\u00f6zlerini siliyordu.<\/p>\n

Onu hafif\u00e7e d\u00fcrterek f\u0131s\u0131ldad\u0131m: “Makyaj\u0131n akacak can\u0131m.”<\/p>\n

Onun hakk\u0131nda bilinmeye de\u011fer her \u015feyi bildi\u011fimi san\u0131yordum.<\/p>\n

Burnunu \u00e7ekti. “\u00d6z\u00fcr dilerim anne. E\u011fer g\u00f6rseydi benimle dalga ge\u00e7erdi.”<\/p>\n

S\u0131ran\u0131n di\u011fer ucunda torunum Taylan, boyal\u0131 ayakkab\u0131lar\u0131 i\u00e7inde kaskat\u0131 duruyor, oldu\u011fundan daha ya\u015fl\u0131 g\u00f6r\u00fcnmeye \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131yordu.<\/p>\n

“\u0130yi misin anneanne?” diye sordu. “Bir \u015feye ihtiyac\u0131n var m\u0131?”<\/p>\n

“Neleri atlatmad\u0131k ki evlad\u0131m,” dedim onun hat\u0131r\u0131 i\u00e7in g\u00fcl\u00fcmsemeye \u00e7al\u0131\u015farak. “Deden bu t\u00f6ren i\u015flerinden hi\u00e7 haz etmezdi.”<\/p>\n

Ayakkab\u0131lar\u0131na bakarak hafif\u00e7e s\u0131r\u0131tt\u0131. “Bana bunlar\u0131n \u00e7ok parlad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 s\u00f6ylerdi.”<\/p>\n

“Evet, s\u00f6ylerdi,” dedim, sesim \u0131s\u0131narak.<\/p>\n

Mihraba do\u011fru bakt\u0131m; ben h\u00e2l\u00e2 yatakta olsam bile onun her sabah nas\u0131l iki ki\u015filik kahve yapt\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fcm. Sadece tek ki\u015filik yapmay\u0131 asla \u00f6\u011frenememi\u015fti.<\/p>\n

“Deden bu t\u00f6ren i\u015flerinden hi\u00e7 haz etmezdi.”<\/p>\n

Sandalyesinin g\u0131c\u0131rt\u0131s\u0131n\u0131 ve haberler \u00e7ok k\u00f6t\u00fcle\u015fti\u011finde elimi nas\u0131l ok\u015fad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fcm. Al\u0131\u015fkanl\u0131ktan, az kals\u0131n ellerimi onun parmaklar\u0131na uzatacakt\u0131m.<\/p>\n

\u0130nsanlar ayr\u0131lmaya ba\u015flad\u0131\u011f\u0131nda R\u00fcya koluma dokundu. “Anne, hava almak i\u00e7in d\u0131\u015far\u0131 \u00e7\u0131kmak ister misin?”<\/p>\n

“Hen\u00fcz de\u011fil.”<\/p>\n

\u0130\u015fte o an, Yavuz’un foto\u011fraf\u0131n\u0131n yan\u0131nda bekleyen yabanc\u0131y\u0131 fark ettim. Hareket etmeden duruyordu, elleri g\u00f6remedi\u011fim bir \u015feyin \u00fczerinde kenetlenmi\u015fti.<\/p>\n

R\u00fcya ka\u015flar\u0131n\u0131 \u00e7att\u0131. “O kim?”<\/p>\n

Yavuz’un foto\u011fraf\u0131n\u0131n yan\u0131nda bekleyen bir yabanc\u0131 fark ettim.<\/p>\n

“Bilmiyorum,” dedim.<\/p>\n

Ama adam\u0131n \u00fczerindeki eski asker ceketi g\u00f6z\u00fcme \u00e7arpt\u0131. Bize do\u011fru y\u00fcr\u00fcmeye ba\u015flad\u0131 ve oda aniden daralm\u0131\u015f gibi hissettirdi.<\/p>\n

“Emine Han\u0131m?” diye sordu sessizce.<\/p>\n

Ba\u015f\u0131m\u0131 sallad\u0131m. “Benim. Yavuz’u tan\u0131yor muydunuz?”<\/p>\n

Hafif\u00e7e g\u00fcl\u00fcmsedi. “Benim ad\u0131m Polat. Yavuz ile \u00e7ok uzun zaman \u00f6nce birlikte askerlik yapm\u0131\u015ft\u0131k.”<\/p>\n

Onu inceledim. “Hi\u00e7 Polat isminden bahsetmemi\u015fti.”<\/p>\n

“Yavuz’u tan\u0131yor muydunuz?”<\/p>\n"},"alt_text":"","media_type":"image","mime_type":"image\/jpeg","media_details":{"width":822,"height":1024,"file":"2026\/04\/vcs.jpg","filesize":159299,"sizes":{"medium":{"file":"vcs-241x300.jpg","width":241,"height":300,"filesize":18474,"mime_type":"image\/jpeg","source_url":"https:\/\/bilgitarif.com\/yeni\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/vcs-241x300.jpg"},"thumbnail":{"file":"vcs-150x150.jpg","width":150,"height":150,"filesize":7664,"mime_type":"image\/jpeg","source_url":"https:\/\/bilgitarif.com\/yeni\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/vcs-150x150.jpg"},"medium_large":{"file":"vcs-768x957.jpg","width":768,"height":957,"filesize":113833,"mime_type":"image\/jpeg","source_url":"https:\/\/bilgitarif.com\/yeni\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/vcs-768x957.jpg"},"full":{"file":"vcs.jpg","width":822,"height":1024,"mime_type":"image\/jpeg","source_url":"https:\/\/bilgitarif.com\/yeni\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/vcs.jpg"}},"image_meta":{"aperture":"0","credit":"","camera":"","caption":"","created_timestamp":"0","copyright":"","focal_length":"0","iso":"0","shutter_speed":"0","title":"","orientation":"0","keywords":[]}},"post":5988,"source_url":"https:\/\/bilgitarif.com\/yeni\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/vcs.jpg","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/bilgitarif.com\/yeni\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/5989","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/bilgitarif.com\/yeni\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/bilgitarif.com\/yeni\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/attachment"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bilgitarif.com\/yeni\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bilgitarif.com\/yeni\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5989"}],"wp:attached-to":[{"embeddable":true,"post_type":"post","id":5988,"href":"https:\/\/bilgitarif.com\/yeni\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5988"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}