{"id":5809,"date":"2026-04-24T19:24:56","date_gmt":"2026-04-24T19:24:56","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/bilgitarif.com\/yeni\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/vccvcv.jpg"},"modified":"2026-04-24T19:24:58","modified_gmt":"2026-04-24T19:24:58","slug":"vccvcv","status":"inherit","type":"attachment","link":"https:\/\/bilgitarif.com\/yeni\/buyuk-fedakarlik-ve-aci-gercek\/vccvcv\/","title":{"rendered":"vccvcv"},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":[],"class_list":["post-5809","attachment","type-attachment","status-inherit","hentry"],"description":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n"},"caption":{"rendered":"

Bekledim… Yar\u0131m saat, bir saat, iki saat ge\u00e7ti. Hava iyice karard\u0131, dondurucu r\u00fczgar esmeye, ince ince kar at\u0131\u015ft\u0131rmaya ba\u015flad\u0131. So\u011fuktan di\u015flerim birbirine vuruyor, ayaklar\u0131m\u0131 hissetmiyordum. Ne gelen vard\u0131 ne giden. G\u00f6zlerim karanl\u0131\u011f\u0131 delmeye \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131yor, iki far \u0131\u015f\u0131\u011f\u0131 g\u00f6rsem “O\u011flum geldi” diye aya\u011fa f\u0131rl\u0131yordum ama ge\u00e7en arabalar h\u0131zla uzakla\u015f\u0131yordu. Titreyen, donmu\u015f ellerimle \u00e7antamdan o eski tu\u015flu telefonumu \u00e7\u0131kard\u0131m. B\u00fcy\u00fck o\u011flumu arad\u0131m; s\u00fcrekli me\u015fgule d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcyordu, beni engellemi\u015fti!<\/p>\n

G\u00f6zya\u015flar\u0131 i\u00e7inde, panik ve \u00e7aresizlikle k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck o\u011flumun numaras\u0131n\u0131 tu\u015flad\u0131m. Telefonu a\u00e7ar a\u00e7maz duyduklar\u0131m ise o dondurucu ayazdan daha \u00e7ok \u00fc\u015f\u00fctt\u00fc i\u00e7imi. “O\u011flum, abin beni bir dura\u011fa b\u0131rakt\u0131, gelmedi. Donuyorum, kurban olay\u0131m gel al beni,” dedim h\u0131\u00e7k\u0131rarak. Kar\u015f\u0131dan gelen ses buz gibiydi, alayc\u0131yd\u0131.<\/p>\n

“Anne,” dedi k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck o\u011flum ruhsuz bir tav\u0131rla, “Abim o evi satt\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131z paran\u0131n tam yar\u0131s\u0131n\u0131 ge\u00e7en ay benim hesab\u0131ma g\u00f6nderdi. Senin \u00f6m\u00fcr boyu bak\u0131m\u0131n\u0131 o \u00fcstlendi, anla\u015fmam\u0131z b\u00f6yleydi, paras\u0131n\u0131 da ald\u0131. Benim kar\u0131m da hamile zaten, yeni bebek bekliyoruz, evde sana ay\u0131racak yerimiz falan yok. L\u00fctfen beni bir daha aray\u0131p durma, kar\u0131mla huzurumu ka\u00e7\u0131rma. Ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131n \u00e7aresine bak.”<\/p>\n

Telefon “d\u0131t d\u0131t” sesleriyle surat\u0131ma kapand\u0131\u011f\u0131nda dizlerimin ba\u011f\u0131 \u00e7\u00f6z\u00fcld\u00fc, oldu\u011fum yere, o buz tutmu\u015f betonun \u00fczerine y\u0131\u011f\u0131l\u0131p kald\u0131m. \u0130ki evlad\u0131m, can\u0131mdan kopard\u0131\u011f\u0131m iki par\u00e7a, beni birka\u00e7 y\u00fcz bin lira i\u00e7in aralar\u0131nda pay etmi\u015f, sonra da bu \u0131ss\u0131z da\u011f ba\u015f\u0131nda \u00f6l\u00fcme terk etmi\u015flerdi.<\/p>\n

K\u0131\u015f Gecesinde Gelen Merhamet
\nO gece o durakta ne kadar a\u011flad\u0131m, ne kadar zaman ge\u00e7ti bilmiyorum. G\u00f6zya\u015flar\u0131m yanaklar\u0131mda donmu\u015ftu. “Allah’\u0131m,” diye yalvard\u0131m g\u00f6ky\u00fcz\u00fcne bakarak, “Beni bu gece burada can\u0131mdan et, sabah\u0131 g\u00f6sterme bana. Evlat ac\u0131s\u0131n\u0131, bu ihaneti ya\u015fatma daha fazla.” \u00c7\u00f6p po\u015fetlerime sar\u0131ld\u0131m, g\u00f6zlerimi kapatt\u0131m. Bedenim yava\u015f yava\u015f uyu\u015fuyor, tatl\u0131 bir uyku bast\u0131r\u0131yordu. Donarak \u00f6lmenin o huzurlu a\u015famas\u0131na ge\u00e7iyordum galiba.<\/p>\n

Tam bilincimi kaybetmek \u00fczereyken g\u00f6zlerimi kama\u015ft\u0131ran mavi-k\u0131rm\u0131z\u0131 \u0131\u015f\u0131klar g\u00f6rd\u00fcm. Bir jandarma devriye arac\u0131 \u00f6n\u00fcmde durdu. Gencecik bir asker ko\u015farak yan\u0131ma geldi, “Teyzem, ne i\u015fin var bu saatte burada, donacaks\u0131n!” diyerek kal\u0131n parkas\u0131n\u0131 omuzlar\u0131ma sard\u0131. Beni o s\u0131cak araban\u0131n i\u00e7ine soktuklar\u0131nda, ellerime bir bardak s\u0131cak \u00e7ay tutu\u015fturduklar\u0131nda h\u00fcng\u00fcr h\u00fcng\u00fcr a\u011flamaya ba\u015flad\u0131m. Karakolda ifadem al\u0131n\u0131rken her \u015feyi anlatt\u0131m ama iki o\u011flumdan da \u015fikayet\u00e7i olmad\u0131m. “Sildim onlar\u0131 defterden,” dedim komutana, “Benim art\u0131k evlad\u0131m yok.”<\/p>\n

\u0130lahi Adalet ve Yeni Bir Hayat
\nJandarman\u0131n yard\u0131m\u0131yla devletin \u015fefkatli kollar\u0131na, bir huzurevine yerle\u015ftirildim. \u0130lk aylar duvarlara bak\u0131p a\u011flamakla ge\u00e7ti. Ama zamanla buradaki kader arkada\u015flar\u0131mla yaralar\u0131m\u0131z\u0131 sard\u0131k. Evlatlar\u0131ndan darbe yemi\u015f, soka\u011fa at\u0131lm\u0131\u015f ne \u00e7ok benim gibi anne-baba varm\u0131\u015f me\u011fer… Burada birbirimize aile olduk, yeni bir yuva kurduk. \u00c7i\u00e7ekler diktik bah\u00e7eye, \u00f6rg\u00fcler \u00f6rd\u00fck, ak\u015famlar\u0131 \u00e7ay e\u015fli\u011finde dertle\u015ftik.<\/p>\n

Aradan tam \u00fc\u00e7 y\u0131l ge\u00e7ti. Bir bahar sabah\u0131, huzurevinin m\u00fcdiresi beni odas\u0131na \u00e7a\u011f\u0131rd\u0131. “Seni ziyarete geldiler Havva Teyze,” dedi. Kap\u0131da, \u00fcst\u00fc ba\u015f\u0131 d\u00f6k\u00fclen, sa\u00e7lar\u0131 darmada\u011f\u0131n olmu\u015f, omuzlar\u0131 \u00e7\u00f6km\u00fc\u015f bir adam duruyordu. B\u00fcy\u00fck o\u011flumdu. Benim paras\u0131n\u0131 verdi\u011fim evde l\u00fcks i\u00e7inde ya\u015farken, arkada\u015f sand\u0131\u011f\u0131 ki\u015filerle girdi\u011fi bir ticarette t\u00fcm varl\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 kaybetmi\u015f. Gelinim olacak o kad\u0131n da elde avu\u00e7ta ne varsa toplay\u0131p, \u00e7ocuklar\u0131 da al\u0131p annesinin evine d\u00f6nm\u00fc\u015f. Sokakta kalm\u0131\u015f.<\/p>\n

G\u00f6zya\u015flar\u0131 i\u00e7inde dizlerime kapand\u0131. “Anne,” dedi, h\u0131\u00e7k\u0131r\u0131klara bo\u011fularak. “Anne ne olursun affet beni. Ne olursun… Anlad\u0131m hatam\u0131, cezam\u0131 buldum. Hadi gel \u00e7\u0131kal\u0131m buradan, ben sana bakar\u0131m, \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131r\u0131m, k\u00f6len olurum.”<\/p>\n

Ellerini yava\u015f\u00e7a dizlerimden \u00e7ektim. \u0130\u00e7imde ne bir \u00f6fke, ne bir kin, ne de bir sevgi kalm\u0131\u015ft\u0131. Sadece derin bir bo\u015fluk hissi vard\u0131.<\/p>\n

“Benim,” dedim sakin bir sesle, “So\u011fuk bir k\u0131\u015f gecesi, o \u0131ss\u0131z otob\u00fcs dura\u011f\u0131nda donarak \u00f6len bir kalbim var art\u0131k. Ve o kalpte senin yerin yok. Sen anneyi o durakta b\u0131rakt\u0131n o\u011flum. \u015eimdi git… Benim ailem art\u0131k burada.”<\/p>\n

Arkam\u0131 d\u00f6nd\u00fcm, koridorda yava\u015f ad\u0131mlarla y\u00fcr\u00fcrken onun arkamdan y\u00fckselen h\u0131\u00e7k\u0131r\u0131klar\u0131n\u0131 duyuyordum. Ama bir kez bile d\u00f6n\u00fcp arkama bakmad\u0131m. \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc biliyordum; k\u0131r\u0131lan bir vazo yap\u0131\u015fsa da, su tutmuyordu art\u0131k. Benim suyum da, o durakta buz tutup \u00e7oktan k\u0131r\u0131lm\u0131\u015ft\u0131.<\/p>\n"},"alt_text":"","media_type":"image","mime_type":"image\/jpeg","media_details":{"width":623,"height":752,"file":"2026\/04\/vccvcv.jpg","filesize":109029,"sizes":{"medium":{"file":"vccvcv-249x300.jpg","width":249,"height":300,"filesize":11423,"mime_type":"image\/jpeg","source_url":"https:\/\/bilgitarif.com\/yeni\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/vccvcv-249x300.jpg"},"thumbnail":{"file":"vccvcv-150x150.jpg","width":150,"height":150,"filesize":4035,"mime_type":"image\/jpeg","source_url":"https:\/\/bilgitarif.com\/yeni\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/vccvcv-150x150.jpg"},"full":{"file":"vccvcv.jpg","width":623,"height":752,"mime_type":"image\/jpeg","source_url":"https:\/\/bilgitarif.com\/yeni\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/vccvcv.jpg"}},"image_meta":{"aperture":"0","credit":"","camera":"","caption":"","created_timestamp":"0","copyright":"","focal_length":"0","iso":"0","shutter_speed":"0","title":"","orientation":"0","keywords":[]}},"post":5807,"source_url":"https:\/\/bilgitarif.com\/yeni\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/vccvcv.jpg","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/bilgitarif.com\/yeni\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/5809","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/bilgitarif.com\/yeni\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/bilgitarif.com\/yeni\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/attachment"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bilgitarif.com\/yeni\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bilgitarif.com\/yeni\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5809"}],"wp:attached-to":[{"embeddable":true,"post_type":"post","id":5807,"href":"https:\/\/bilgitarif.com\/yeni\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5807"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}